BabY PigZ StY (^oo^)

Friday, April 07, 2006

(2 Apr) No title to this blog entry coz I have so much to talk abt. So much that I duno where to begin and which info can be published. Maybe from how bad my morning started today.

Was pulled out of bed this morning at 5.45am to pay my late Grandma respect for the annual tombsweeping day. Super tired...*trying hard to keep my eyes open now*. Anyway, the Mandai Crematorium was very crowded and the smoke from burning of incense papers was too much for my eyes to accept. *dark chocolate Maltesers to the rescue....AWAKE!*

Arrived at work on time but there were parents who are earlier. One of them was here for the ballet class, which was cancelled due to the ballet examination. The parent wasn't informed about it and was telling me off in front of other parents. "I think someone owe me an apology and explanation here!" the mother reprimanded while I was trying to hook up the door. I immediately turned to her and apologised. Before I could explain, "Don't talk to me! Until you get your facts clear!" was "slapped" right on my face. I replied "OK" with a smile before I turned into my office with a collapsed face. This is the worst I've got from a parent.

Another parent saw my unhappy look; tried to cheer me up. She asked me to treat the mother's words like dirt. Heh. The angry mother made things worse by complaining it to the recep of Raffles Town Club. What is she expecting the recep to do? My dear cute recep had to call me to ask me abt what happened. He seem concerned but this time...hearing his voice din make me any happier.

Few days back, the recep managed to cheer me up when I was so stressed up with our centre's ballet exams. Does it sound as though we are good frenz? Haha. NAH!! Juz my wishful totz. Hee. Anywayz, I was attracted to him when I first met him at the recep. But everytime when I see him, he doesn't smile. Not until few days back when I went down to collect letters again. He smiled and thanked me twice for collecting the letters. Ain't I suppose to thank him? I did lar! =)
Shortly after I got back to my office, the recep called. Nothing much...juz to ask me for our lift no., which I heard as "lease no.". Both of us laughed at our "getting to no-where" conversation. Heh.

*****

(4 Apr) Letz talk abt sth less happy. About how I feel being the odd one out whenever I'm in groups of 3. I have this theory... 两人行必有一伤；三人行必有一失；四人行必有一输。而我必伤、失、输。Eng Translation: One will be hurt in pairs; One will be missed in threes; One will lose in fours. I'll be hurt, missed and I'll lose.

Recently, I realised how unhappy I can be when I'm with frenz in groups of 3. It took me almost a decade to recognise the feeling and wanna make a change to it. I'm sure everyone hangs out with frenz whom you can click with. U know....OF THE SAME FREQUENCY!! Well, it doesn't have to be exactly the same. But at least there should be sparks of crosses. Not parellel lines.

Tell me: How would you feel when your words are laughed or snubbed at? How would you feel when you experience mood swings and your frenz merely strike it off with "There she/he goes again..."? How would you feel when there are no common topics to talk abt and all you can do is to listen n laugh along? How would you feel when you tried to bring up a topic and got the cold/no responses from ur frenz? How would you feel when you really cant find any common factors btwn u and ur frenz? How would you feel when your physique is so different from your frenz? How would you feel when your frenz want u to "OBEY" them? How would you feel... How would you feel... How would you feel... ????

If your answers to the above qtns are that you're fine with them, I'd love to interview you.

With my MSN nick being "^(oo)^ the oddball in grps of 3 - which is more pathetic: me having them as frenz or they having me as fren?", I've got frenz buzzing me. Those who are not involved and those involved. Those involved will tell me to accept differences btwn frenz without understanding wat I have gone thru. Some asked me to voice out when I'm unhappy but how so when I'm pissed off by them? Those not involved suggested that I shld talk it out and not to give up on frenships of years.

*****

(5 Apr) But why try to change someone? I wun want others to change me too. Ya, I'm difficult. My dark personality is too hard for others to comprehend/handle. Oh well...I can do my weebit to cheer one up...act silly...act stupid...be a clown...allow others to treat me as a sandbag/dartboard...sharpen their sharp tongues to hurt me, so long they are happy. Juz gimme the respect and dignity I deserve!!

An incident on April's Fool has triggered me to think if I've been respected all these while. It brought along alot of recollections of the past and instigated me to re-evaluate frenships. Ya ya...you'll say that I "think too much" or I'm "SUPER over-sensitive". That's me, IF U SAY SO!!
Who doesn't want a happy fren? Sorry...I can't be one. So, by all means attribute the differences btwn us and the flaws of our frenships to me. Blame me for showing my unhappiness thru my highly misunderstood "smelly black" face, though it juz sends out angry/fierce/unhappy vibes when it's expressionless. Heh.

*****

(6 Apr) Read thru what I've written in the past few days, I'm tinking if I should publish this. Shall do it anywayz. Heh.

Really duno what else I wanna add on. Coz I'm typing this for the 5th time. ARGH. My PC keeps restarting by itself. Weird.

*****

(7 Apr) Anyway, I dun expect my frenz to understand me. Moreover, they're not me. They can never understand what I'm going thru (coz their lives are juz too good to be true!) juz like how I can't understand them. But mannerism muz be observed. Dun come and tell me I choose this path as if I deserve all these or show your indifference to my words or comments.

Also, I know that some are hoping that I can be happier. Pals, dun worry! I'm okie! I believe I'm an invincible cockroach....eeeks....I'd prefer invincible PIG. I mean that I wun be defeated easily. For all I know, my parents need my support and I dun want them to worry or attend my funeral ah. Heh.

Oh I juz received Mummy's sms to thank me for the angbao I gave her as bday gift. She told me Daddy bought her a cake and rose(s). *roll in the mud laughing* Daddy bought roses?? Or a stalk of rose?? No matter how many, that's a....MIRACLE!! Haha. Nv tot Daddy is so romantic. I bet he was prompted by my auntie. Hee. Shall tease him when I get home. Huhu.

Alritez...shall end my 5-day long entry. =)

PiGz ^(oo)^ _{7:20 pm}

About Me

Nickname: Baby Pig
DOB: 20 Nov
Loves: piggin' out, sleeping, singing, shopping, reading, travelling,
chatting, meeting new frenz, music, tv, movies
Location: PigZ StY ^__^

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Wishlist

:: LOVE ::
:: ATTENTION ::
:: CARE ::
~~:: Air ticket get out of S'pore ::~~
~~:: camera handphone ::~~
~~:: new computer ::~~
~~:: laptop ::~~
:: big classic watch ::
~~:: smaller digicam ::~~
:: baking oven ::
:: Sony PSP ::
:: pet dog ::
:: NUM Bag ::
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:: LG Chocolate handphone ::
:: Red New Beetle Cabriolet ::
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:: "Goong" Korean drama serial DVD ::
:: Zhang Xiao Xian's novel collection ::
~~:: Deck of Palladini Tarot cards ::~~
:: mini-pig as pet ::
~~:: Lomo camera ::~~
~~:: MP3 player ::~~
:: DV cam ::
:: DVD recorder ::
:: 42" Plasma TV ::
:: huge revamp to my room ::
~~:: a fun n memorable 21st bday party ::~~

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